Sometimes the casket
falls during the funeral,
sometimes it’s just drugs.
Friday, June 25, 2010
Fly, bats.
At dinner today, I told my family about the talk I sat through by one of the researching biologists at my school, where he talked about the fact that organisms with a high probability of dying in the near future have no incentive to live longer, and so age faster.
“So that’s why bats live two to five times longer than comparatively sized land mammals,” I said.
“Is that true?” My mom asked.
“Yes,” I said. My sister had a contemplative face.
“So,” she said, “If we could fly…?”
“So that’s why bats live two to five times longer than comparatively sized land mammals,” I said.
“Is that true?” My mom asked.
“Yes,” I said. My sister had a contemplative face.
“So,” she said, “If we could fly…?”
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Listen to the Sound of my Voice
This morning, I was sound asleep and having a strange dream. I was walking into a room where my mother was sitting with a girl I used to know back in high school. In the dream, they were talking, but stopped when I came into the room.
“Oh, Apricot,” my mom said. “Would you like to paint High School Acquaintance’s shirt for her?”
“Oh, no,” I shook my head, “No, actually--”
They exploded into fury about how I was calling this girl fat, and how that was unacceptable, when really, all I wanted to do was talk to my mom for a moment. I hung my head, looked at the carpet, and thought, ‘Gee, self, this is just like what happened at the LARP convention.’
Just then, my mom in the waking world knocked on my bedroom door and said, “Apricot? Don’t you have to be up?”
“Whutimeissit?”
“It’s a quarter to seven.”
“No, I don’t have to be up until eight.”
“Oh, sorry.”
“Thanks.”
The part that makes this Twilight-Zone-ish is that last night, when I stood up to go to bed (before anyone else) I said, to my mom, “Now, I don’t have to be up until eight tomorrow.”
She said, “Oh, that’s so nice.”
I don’t blame my mom for not remembering, and it’s great of her to come try to wake me up when she had thought I overslept (I’ve done it once or twice before) but I do think it’s funny that I would be dreaming about people not listening to me when she came up to wake me up because she didn’t remember some trivial thing I had said.
“Oh, Apricot,” my mom said. “Would you like to paint High School Acquaintance’s shirt for her?”
“Oh, no,” I shook my head, “No, actually--”
They exploded into fury about how I was calling this girl fat, and how that was unacceptable, when really, all I wanted to do was talk to my mom for a moment. I hung my head, looked at the carpet, and thought, ‘Gee, self, this is just like what happened at the LARP convention.’
Just then, my mom in the waking world knocked on my bedroom door and said, “Apricot? Don’t you have to be up?”
“Whutimeissit?”
“It’s a quarter to seven.”
“No, I don’t have to be up until eight.”
“Oh, sorry.”
“Thanks.”
The part that makes this Twilight-Zone-ish is that last night, when I stood up to go to bed (before anyone else) I said, to my mom, “Now, I don’t have to be up until eight tomorrow.”
She said, “Oh, that’s so nice.”
I don’t blame my mom for not remembering, and it’s great of her to come try to wake me up when she had thought I overslept (I’ve done it once or twice before) but I do think it’s funny that I would be dreaming about people not listening to me when she came up to wake me up because she didn’t remember some trivial thing I had said.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
LARP Insults
I went to a LARP convention with my boyfriend recently so that he could sell the beautiful jewelry he makes. He did really well, and I even sold a few of my cards. On the first day of the convention, I noticed someone walking around, and I knew I'd seen him before, but I couldn't remember where. I also felt like we hadn't been friends.
The second day, I saw him again, and had the same feeling.
On the third day, while I was sitting at our booth alone, he came into the vendor's hall, and it hit me.
"Hey," I said, smiling. "You were my TA for physics!"
He raised an eyebrow and said, "That might be possible." He walked over to the booth.
"Yeah, at my specific school," I specified. "For my specific physics class."
"Oh, I thought you looked familiar," he said.
I smiled and nodded, and then glanced at the yellow pumps he was carrying. "Are those your shoes?"
He frowned a little and then laughed. "No, I found these. I'm trying to figure out who they belong to. None of my characters are female."
"That's too bad."
"Well, I don't really have the physique for it; maybe the stature."
We both laughed, and it was at this moment that my boyfriend walked back into the room, through the door which was maybe fifteen feet away from the booth (so, close enough to hear me). I said, "Well, you could be a dwarf female if you grew--" --a beard, I meant to say, but I didn't get the chance.
"Are you calling me short?!"
I blustered and tried to explain, but it was too late. He stomped out of the vendor's room, and my boyfriend walked over to the table, and looked down at me, looking both puzzled and shocked.
"What?" I was embarrassed and grumpy.
"Why did you call him short?"
"He did it first," I protested.
We laughed it off, and packed up our things a couple hours later when the convention ended. It wasn't until we were about halfway home, when it hit me.
"Boyfriend! I just remembered!"
"What?" He looked alarmed, probably because I was driving and shouting at him at the same time.
"That guy, the one who I called short on accident! He was sensitive about it."
"Yeah...?" Obviously he didn't understand me.
"Nonono," I turned down the radio, and he flinched a little as I took my hand from the 2 o'clock position on the steering wheel. "No, in class-- I think he wore lifts in his shoes. I can't believe I forgot that."
My boyfriend laughed appropriately, and we stopped for pizza. I had peperoni and cashews, even though I decided not to eat meat made of many individual animals anymore.
The second day, I saw him again, and had the same feeling.
On the third day, while I was sitting at our booth alone, he came into the vendor's hall, and it hit me.
"Hey," I said, smiling. "You were my TA for physics!"
He raised an eyebrow and said, "That might be possible." He walked over to the booth.
"Yeah, at my specific school," I specified. "For my specific physics class."
"Oh, I thought you looked familiar," he said.
I smiled and nodded, and then glanced at the yellow pumps he was carrying. "Are those your shoes?"
He frowned a little and then laughed. "No, I found these. I'm trying to figure out who they belong to. None of my characters are female."
"That's too bad."
"Well, I don't really have the physique for it; maybe the stature."
We both laughed, and it was at this moment that my boyfriend walked back into the room, through the door which was maybe fifteen feet away from the booth (so, close enough to hear me). I said, "Well, you could be a dwarf female if you grew--" --a beard, I meant to say, but I didn't get the chance.
"Are you calling me short?!"
I blustered and tried to explain, but it was too late. He stomped out of the vendor's room, and my boyfriend walked over to the table, and looked down at me, looking both puzzled and shocked.
"What?" I was embarrassed and grumpy.
"Why did you call him short?"
"He did it first," I protested.
We laughed it off, and packed up our things a couple hours later when the convention ended. It wasn't until we were about halfway home, when it hit me.
"Boyfriend! I just remembered!"
"What?" He looked alarmed, probably because I was driving and shouting at him at the same time.
"That guy, the one who I called short on accident! He was sensitive about it."
"Yeah...?" Obviously he didn't understand me.
"Nonono," I turned down the radio, and he flinched a little as I took my hand from the 2 o'clock position on the steering wheel. "No, in class-- I think he wore lifts in his shoes. I can't believe I forgot that."
My boyfriend laughed appropriately, and we stopped for pizza. I had peperoni and cashews, even though I decided not to eat meat made of many individual animals anymore.
Lab Thumb
I got through my first day of summer session yesterday, and it wasn’t all that bad, despite the near freezing temperatures in the laboratory. I really understood what the professor was saying, and with one, mild exception, I really understood the homework problems, too. I’m still terrified, though, because the first midterm is in two days. That doesn’t leave a lot of time to prepare. I take comfort in the fact that many of the people in the class are taking it for the first time right now.
My sister’s cat has this new trick, where he screams at anyone who walks in front of my parent’s bedroom, because he wants to go in and lay on the mattress hidden under their bed. I think he’s decided it’s his secret cave.
My thumbnail has begun to come up, and it is very tender. I bled last night under the nail, where the white bubble of air was trapped, so now there’s a brown bubble with a thin white crest at the end, followed by yet another layer of bruising, and all of this constitutes probably a third of my nail. As David Attenborough probably never said, ew ew, ew ew. Ew.
I think it is unhealthy for me to consume turkey jerky the way I do. I mean, in the quantities I do. I consume it in the normal fashion.
My sister’s cat has this new trick, where he screams at anyone who walks in front of my parent’s bedroom, because he wants to go in and lay on the mattress hidden under their bed. I think he’s decided it’s his secret cave.
My thumbnail has begun to come up, and it is very tender. I bled last night under the nail, where the white bubble of air was trapped, so now there’s a brown bubble with a thin white crest at the end, followed by yet another layer of bruising, and all of this constitutes probably a third of my nail. As David Attenborough probably never said, ew ew, ew ew. Ew.
I think it is unhealthy for me to consume turkey jerky the way I do. I mean, in the quantities I do. I consume it in the normal fashion.
Monday, June 21, 2010
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