Burnin' Fish

On my way to my religious/ethnic studies discussion last week, I realized that the sixteen ounces of Pepsi I had at lunch were ready to leave me, and so I ducked into the restroom. As I hung my backpack up on the peg in the stall, I spotted a sign which advertised English lessons from someone with a BA in English. Someone else had come in with a pen and corrected the mistakes in spelling and grammar, and then had written ,”F-- see me.”

Then when I left the stall and was washing my hands a girl came in and bent over to examine her rear-end in the mirror, to make sure the seam of her pants was straight down the center of her bum.

I touched the heating element on the top of the oven (while the oven was heated to 450 degrees) with the back of my hand on Saturday morning. The blisters popped, and now the burn looks like those pictures of the wounds before they put the maggots on them, only tiny.

I got a new bra this weekend which has goldfish on it, and I’m very excited about it.

Working retail has made me doubt my communication skills. This weekend, a lady came in and asked for, “Those things you put on the bottom of furniture legs?” So I took her to those dots (felt, cork or plastic) which protect hard floors.

She said, “No, I need the whole thing.” and made a motion with her hand implying an entire leg. So I took her to the wood aisle.

She said, “No, I need the things, the felt, that goes under, on the bottom, for the floor?” So I took her back to the felt dots.

She dithered for a while, and then asked, “How will this protect the floor, thought?”

I said, “Well, um, the felt, or the cork, or plastic, those are softer than the wood is, and they’re smooth, so they won’t… scratch the floor?”

She asked how. I said they go on the bottom of the leg, between the leg and the floor.

She said, “This isn’t what I need,” and left the store. I still can’t figure out what she was talking about.

I need to figure out a better sleep schedule. Well, actually, I need to figure out a way to motivate myself to get into bed at bedtime reliably. I’m tired of being exhausted in the morning.

I’m hungry for feta.